Monday, March 3, 2014

They erased this Tripadvisor review, but not before I was able to get a copy

    The following review was left on the Tripadvisor website for Craggs Hotel in Callandar, Scottland. The owner's response has gone viral; however, the review itself has been scrubbed from the Tripadvisor site. I was able to retrieve this through the use of Google Cache.

Eileen S. of Glascow, Scotland, wrote this, which is her only Tripadvisor review:
Stay clear of this hotel was the worst experience ever. Very poorly managed extremely disappointed:( Was a nightmare from very beginning as they double booked our room and continually lied to us about the booking. Our friends came all the way from England and were very disappointed as their booking was wrong also......will stay clear of this hotel and advise everyone else to!!!!
    The owner, one Alex Scrivenor, responded:
    Valentines day has always held a special place in my heart… it was the day I first kissed my last girlfriend… who I then proposed to three valentine days later... and since she became my wife we have systematically, and quite deliberately, forgotten to mark the occasion.
    However from henceforth I will remember Valentines as the miserable day that I had the misfortune to meet you, your husband and your friends from England!
    And the 16th Feb will now be called ‘Hatchet Sunday’ in memory of the review you left us.
    Before I reply I should make something clear...My doctor has told me that I must control my anger levels... he has told me that I must visualise my anger as a wicked demon that lives in a deep dark pit, and there the demon must stay. Instead of giving free reign to my anger, I have been attempting to be more understanding... less 'Basil' like... so I will attempt to be as understanding as possible… I am getting quite good at it… at my last appointment my doctor called me an 'empathy machine'!
    So, in spite of my desire to rage against this review, I will attempt to be balanced…let me try and set the record straight…
    I understand that you are angry with me... To arrive at a hotel and be told that you can’t have the room you booked is frustrating! I get that! That is why I gave you a free bottle of wine… and £15 off the room… and a free night’s stay in March! (I was contemplating also throwing in a wee hug for you both... but I felt there might be health consequences!)
    You see I understand… I appreciate that having been given a different room you then felt the need to lock yourself away in your room and become incoherently drunk… it’s not my choice of behaviour… but needs must.... Horses for course, etc!
    However, here is where things become difficult for me... I have struggled to understand why you then felt the need to go on a drunken rant through the hotel, threatening customers and shouting abuse… (hmmmm)… I also… have tried to understand why your husband wanted to drag me outside for a ‘kicking’, as he put it… (hang on a sec, do I really need to try and understand this sort of behaviour)… and the massive hole in the wall of my hotel? The one you kicked with your size 7 clodhoppers… must I try and be understanding that (I feel the anger rising... ).
    And the crowning cherry on the ‘Cleveland Steamer’ that was your visit… was the fact you gave me fake credit card details… so that when I tried to process payment for your outstanding bill of £400 it was declined…
    (I feel myself crumbling under the injustice of it all! My grip on reality is loosening… I am teetering on the edge of the great pit… and there, below, in the inky depths… lies… the demon!... he is coming!)
    Do you know what… I think my empathy jet is flying on vapours!!! I think ‘Mr understanding guy’ has just been told to pack his bags and leave the building... escorted by the police! In... exactly... the same... way... that you and friends were escorted by the police out of my hotel! Must I still try to empathise with you?
    No… no no no no no no no no no no no no I don’t understand any of it! Do you not think that there are one or two teeny weeny details that you omitted from your review… did you fail to recall 'twixt the instance of your arrival and that of your department that you and your husband went on a criminal rampage through the streets of Callander the like of which we have not seen wince William Wallace had a 'city break' in Carlisle! (however, to your credit you did refrain from rape, for which the menfolk of Callander thank you) Did it really slip your memory that your husband was charged with threatening behaviour, criminal damage and breach of the peace?
    You wrecked valentines day for my customers and staff.. you wrecked my hotel room… you tried to attack me… you refuse to pay your £400 bill … the police charged you with crimes, which will no doubt be dropped…
    And then… you write this review…
    One star out of five for location? … What did Callander ever do to you?
    One star out of five for rooms? Well, now that you have kicked all my walls down, I probably agree!
    One start out of five for value? May I courteously remind you that you didn’t actually pay a single, tiny penny! Despite having sat in our restaurant, gorging yourself on wild boar and pinot grigio at my expense! £400 of my money which I will never retrieve… pursuing you for recompense through the small courts would be as fruitful as pursuing a turd down a toilet!
    In conclusion… you have ruined me! You have set my therapy back some six months...You have stripped me of my greatest strength… my compassion... I will be, forever, a 'Basil'.
    One last thing… in reference to the last line of your review ‘we will stay clear of this hotel’... I think the restraining order will ensure that remains the case!

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