Convenience stores could give out free condoms if only the Catholics would pay for it

    A Detroit man was shot recently by the manager of a convenience store in a dispute over the price of condoms. Prior to being shot the customer was complaining about the price being too high and started tearing up the store.
    Why are we depriving convenience store customers of their fundamental rights by forcing them to pay for condoms? They have a fundamental right to receive these for free!
    Admittedly the government can't afford to pay for everyone, so I have a suggestion. Let's require the Catholic Church to pay for it! They have plenty of money and could simply be required to send free condoms to America's convenience stores so that the stores could provide them at no charge to their customers.
    Okay, so there's a little problem of freedom of religion here since the Catholics are technically against artificial birth control, but don't worry. We can get around it. In order to respect the rights of the Catholic Church, it won't have to buy and distribute the condoms directly. Instead, anyone doing business with the Catholic Church will just be required to supply, at no charge to anyone, free condoms by the crate to anyone requesting them. Think about it, free condoms and no one even has to pay the bill!
    Of course, businesses may be reluctant to do business with the Catholic Church if they know that doing so will obligate them to provide free crates of condoms to all of America's convenience stores. But hey, that's the church's problem.